Currently Seeking a New Compulsion

7YO just got a haircut. She seems pretty happy about it, doesn't she?

This may sound wrong and will probably come off as offensive to those who actually suffer from such a disorder, but I secretly long for some form of OCD.

I just wonder if I sometimes don't care enough about things. Crumbs on the counter and toys on the floor don't bother me like I think they should. I usually choose to step over the mess and walk past the crumbs. It could be either because I'd rather stay in a good mood and not spend my time resenting the culprits or that I'm just plain lazy. (Okay, so it's probably a bit more the second one!)

Sadly, I haven't figured out how to pick up the same things every single day by repeat offenders and not be at least a tiny bit bitter about it!

While I doubt the health department could come in at any moment and 'shut this operation down,' I am very aware of how not clean my home is most of the time. It doesn't generally bother me. That is, until someone's coming over!

It's actually sort of sad. When I get in a 'cleaning mood,' the first question one of my kids will undoubtedly ask is, "Why? Who's coming over?" Please say I'm not alone here...

I just wish that some force greater than myself cared more about me having a clean house....or an addiction to exercise...than I do! I know that anyone actually having such a compulsion would probably trade places with me in a heartbeat.

Maybe I do care more than even I am aware. Maybe this is just my way of coping with having a husband who leaves a trail of tools and things and kids who could, on a good day, have natural disasters named after them. Plus, constant nagging can sometimes be more exhausting for the person nagging than for its recipients.

I've tried so many different organizational websites and programs. But, if your heart isn't in it...

I do know that my current state of disorder is a lot easier on my kids and husband.

'If Mama ain't happy...'