This really has to be the longest I have ignored this blog. EVER. Is there even a good excuse for an absence this long?
Maybe there isn't one...but it feels like there are a billion little ones.
So, what happened? Why, just a few posts ago, was I talking about all three of my girls starting school and delighting in all that 'free time' I would have in my day?
I guess my math was off or something. Or maybe I've just been actually out there living instead of just writing about living. Blogging saved my sanity when I had young kids at home and no real reason to leave the house every single day. (Or get dressed, for that matter!) I could complain about my kids not flushing the toilet or the Goldfish Crackers that seemed to end up EVERYWHERE and there was always someone out there in the blogosphere that would GET ME. I could also read so many wonderful posts from talented people all over the world and realize that this world is a whole lot smaller than I thought. So many of us were in the same boat and it felt good knowing that. Had it not been for the internet, I'm pretty sure that living out here in Rural Suburbia might have really gotten to me.
It's true what they say about time moving slower when you have your whole life ahead of you as a child and flying by way too quickly by when you start worrying about how much you have left. This whole 'aging thing' is just a cruel, cruel joke. Just this morning I was shaving my legs and I went over the same spot on my knee three times before I realized IT WAS A SPIDER VEIN. Sure, I'm sliding down the backside of the hill that is my 30's and 40 is right around the corner. (I honestly just read that sentence again and cringed when I saw the word 'backside.' That's another sore subject for me.) I know I'm not really all that 'OLD' and that "40 is the new '30' and blah blah blah blah blah...it still sort of sucks no matter how you try to spin it.
Don't get me wrong; I love how much I've learned about life and love and all that. I'm so much more setttled and confident now than I ever was when I had a better body, better circulation, better digestion, all while eating McDonald's three times a day and not gaining an ounce. Wow...I think I sort of resent the old me! Could someone hold her down while I pull her hair? The younger me could definitely use a good 'talking to.' Then again, had I not been who I was when I was younger I probably wouldn't be who I am now. The important thing is that I know more NOW, right? Knowledge is power.
Knowledge is power. When I used to go grocery shopping, I shopped for the sake of flavor and convenience. I felt great back then and the world was my oyster. Now, I shop for fiber and protein content and price. Because of the knowledge. The same knowledge that empowers me also makes me realize my limits.
Sometimes, I really miss the days where I was a clueless twit. (And not just because of how much better she looked in shorts!) Ignorance really is bliss.
In my younger days, I used to want to learn about better ways to do my hair and makeup. (Okay, so I was a child of the 80's and mostly wanted to know how those other girls got their bangs to stick up so high. There was this girl in one of my classes who carried a big purse which held a three-foot tall can of Aqua Net. I really looked up to her...and not just because her hair barely fit through the doorway!) These days, I would love to go to cosmetology school for the sake of self-preservation. Older cars usually require more mantenance. I'm finding that train of thought doesn't just have to apply to cars. And it sucks. I will catch my reflection in the mirror and suddenly wonder, "Have my eyebrows ALWAYS looked like this? Why haven't any of my so-called 'friends' staged an intervention?"
Why? Because they are all probably too worried about their own eyebrows to notice mine. Either that or they're just making fun of my crazy brows behind my back! And who am I to begrudge them something to giggle about?
Now, where did I put those tweezers?