April 28, 2010

Dear Jillian Michaels...

The first thing I want to do is to thank you for pointing out that women who have given birth are 'damaged' and it's something you would never want to put your own body through. While I agree that adoption is a fantastic thing and so many children truly deserve the loving family that they may not have been born with, I believe (HOPE) that you may have misspoken.

Sure, anyone who has given birth will complain or joke about the things that are now different about their bodies. Simple things like jumping on a trampoline or coughing or sneezing without preparing oneself could result in...we'll just call it 'more laundry to do!' Ankles swell, purple lines appear and make your legs look more like a topographic map than a set of limbs, and stretch marks...well, I'm sure you've seen your share of those in your line of work.

I know you SAY that it's about being healthy, but I can't help but think that you still have very little respect for the chubby 12-year-old that is your inner child. You never want to go back there again. I get it. Who would really CHOOSE to be overweight, right? So, even though most of us don't stand a chance in hell of getting our 'good' bodies back after having children no matter how proper or diet and exercise regimen may be, living as good examples with healthy habits and loving and accepting ourselves with all of our flaws seems a little too good to be true, doesn't it? Well unfortunately, it's all getting to be more difficult by the minute with the barrage of ignorant comments like yours.

You are not helping people, Ms. Michaels. You are making us feel 'less than' for not looking like you.

Silly me, thinking that you could be such a great example for women by getting pregnant, gaining weight, and showing the world how to do it all the 'right way.' I must be so naive to think that you of all people would have the self control to do that and not regress to be that chunky little girl inside of you that you apparently fear and loathe.

Perhaps you should maybe talk to someone about this, Jillian. It really doesn't sound healthy.

Or, maybe you're right. Maybe those three children who once lived inside of me were not worth all the stretch marks, spider veins, and lack of bladder control that may very well plague me for the rest of my life. And how must this make women who would do anything to experience pregancy but cannot feel? Their dream is your nightmare, right?

I have to say that I enjoy watching 'The Biggest Loser' most days, though I roll my eyes and grind my teeth when you are screaming at a contestant for not 'trying hard enough.' Break them down to build them up, right? I can't help but think that many of them will have some cracks of inadequacy in their 'foundation' with your methods, but only time will tell. But I must say that my favorite episode of yours wasn't even an episode of 'The Biggest Loser.' It was an episode of 'The Dog Whisperer.' To see that small dog have absolutely no fear and respect for you and make you feel helpless...now, there was an interesting turn of events! It was nice to see the human side of Jillian Michaels instead of the screaming, swearing drill sargent that you (or your show's editors) usually choose for us to see.

Once again, I want to clarify that I think adoption is a beautiful thing. You certainly do not have to actually give birth to be a true mother. But anything can be misunderstood or tainted if done for the wrong reasons. Talking about adopting for the sake of vanity? Not so pretty. You might want to run some of those words through your head before you spew them onto the pages of a popular magazine about women.

After all, we might get the wrong idea about you.

Just Another Damaged Woman

April 19, 2010

Redneck Suburbans, Exploding Hearts, and Burlap Sacks

One fine Sunday afternoon, David had a brilliant idea...

...to connect the tandem bike to a trailer bike and THEN hook a bike trailer to the back of that.

The whole idea of it made me a bit uneasy, but at least they were wearing helmets right?

And thus, the 'Redneck Suburban' was born!
I opted to not ride with them...I'm sure I would have been the reason they would tip over! (Nobody tipped over and everyone had a great time, BTW!) Knowing that I could have gotten exercise with them but was not, I was actually motivated to hop on the elliptical last night and I DIDN'T DIE. The longer I put it off, the harder it seems like it will be. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be! The weight I'd lost is starting to creep its way back onto my butt and thighs, so I must do something. Besides, I just figured out how yummy it is to mix a handful of Chocolate Cheerios with a small bag of Chex Mix and eat a Red Vine every couple of mouthfuls. Pure heaven.
Gee....why do you suppose I'm gaining weight???
I'm just a spoiled, lazy glutton...THAT'S WHY!!! I'd also noticed that the lack of exercise over the past month or so has caused my energy levels to decrease quite noticably. I just always felt a little, oh I don't know...BLEH! Feeling like that makes me crave crappy food....and so the downward spiral begins!
I'm going to try to take 20 minutes out of my day to hop on the elliptical and make my heart want to burst out of my chest. (That sounds pretty reasonable, right?) I need to track my food on Sparkpeople again, too. That really works...but not if you don't log on! But the weather is finally warming up and I'm finding that I want to cover up a little more each day. Think I could bring the burlap sack back in style? (Okay, so maybe it never really WAS actually in style...and it sounds kind of itchy!)
Have a great day!

April 14, 2010

At least she gave me fair warning...

The girls got this little 'Today Is...' wall hanging from their great grandma. It hangs in their room and I try to encourage them (when I remember) to keep it up-to-date. This morning I actually did remember to have 7YO change it as she was getting dressed for school. Notice how they are all squished together and not lined up properly so she can have two moods displayed?
The child is not a morning person!
The weather is especially 'spring-ish' right now and my allergies are in full bloom. I am on three different prescriptions now that seem to be keeping them under control. I really hope this doesn't last long!
We've made an extrodinary discovery around our house recently. Something this huge and awesome could really make us rich and famous and all that jazz. (Okay, maybe not. If it were so, there's no way I would post it on a public forum like THE INTERNET.) Wanna know what this new discovery is?
It is possible that the best hair conditioner in the world could probably contain dog saliva. More specifically, boxer saliva. Aly's favorite thing to do is to chew on the head and neck of our beloved kitty, Snickers. Snickers is almost always wet around the neck and on the top of his head. The poor cat smells like dog breath! But, when the opportunity arises for Snickers' head and neck to actually DRY, that fur is perhaps the softest fur that I have ever felt. (Okay, so maybe it's not as soft as a chinchilla, but that would be the only exception I can think of!) Yes, he still smells like dog breath when dry, but that portion of fur is so soft and shiny now.
Okay, I would love to know how one would go about collecting said dog saliva to make this kick-ass conditioner that I am imagining. I can tell you one thing: This is not a job position you would see me applying for!
Anyhow, softball season is in full swing and time's a wastin'.
Have a great day!
(Or, at least a better one than my 7YO planned to have today!)

April 6, 2010

Anniversaries and Young Teenagers

Eight years ago today, David and I each bought a ticket on this crazy, frightening, amazing, wonderful, terrible, wouldn't-have-it-any-other-way roller coaster of marriage. Luckily, we both love roller coasters. (That doesn't mean that one or both of us doesn't get a bit queasy on some of the turns, though!)
He has to work today. BOO! While 14YO and 7YO are in school, I plan to pawn 4YO off on my mom for an hour or so have have lunch with my husband. That's pretty much the extent of how we will celebrate our anniversary. We might schedule a 'date night' on a weekend in the near or distant future because we're due for one, but I doubt we'll call THAT an anniversary date. Some years this date will have more time and energy devoted to it than others. This year is one of the 'others!' Last year, we decided to buy a boxer puppy and call that our anniversary present toward each other. This year, that 'present' causes more than her share of disagreements between us, so a 'no gifts policy' for this year is probably for the best!
I really need to get Aly in some sort of dog training class. I can get her to sit, lie down, shake paws, and even crawl across the floor. She's really a smart dog, but with such a short attention span she is still more of a heathen than a loyal and obedient companion. She has the foundation of a good dog. She loves her 'people' and most others. She barks ferociously when she hears a noise and would never purposely hurt any of her 'people.' That being said, she gets highly excited and really obnoxious when someone comes over and it takes a long time for her to calm down. She loves kids so much she knocks them over as part of her greeting. Most of them really hate that! I would love to be able to open the front door and not have to either hold her back or stare her down and growl myself to keep her from making a run for it. Once she gets outside of the house or yard, she forgets her name and just RUNS. Chasing her down and catching her is no fun and can be quite time consuming. And I really wish she would stop eating crayons! (Though, that really does add 'color' to the backyard when the crayons have run their course! Maybe she's really an artist and just very misunderstood...)
I just had this horrible, sinking feeling that I'm forgetting something today. I ran to check the calendar on my phone and there is nothing scheduled for today. What could it be? I HATE THAT! I think it might have something to do with school, but I'm not quite sure which school. I have a faint memory of reading this date somewhere and thinking, "Okay, so the day that goes back to school, will be going on." Maybe it was just when I our anniversary. I hope that was it. I spend so much of my life feeling like I'm forgetting something or dropping a ball somewhere...and I'm usually right!
Moving on...
I'm pretty sure that 4YO is working on being 'The World's Youngest Teenager.' She listens to music too loudly and could spend the whole day reapplying her 'makeup.' (Her makeup usually consists of some sort of Chap Stick or clear lip gloss but it changes all the time because she uses so much of it!) Personally, I would love for her to be a little more obsessed about brushing her hair, but we can't have everything we want right?
7YO is doing well. She's just getting back to school today, so we'll see how the day goes! She got a little 'Best Friends' necklace set and plans to give the other one to one of her little friends today. I worry that this could cause some sort of conflict amongst some of her friends, but she has to learn her own lessons in her own time. Learning how to deal with these types of situations is a basic life skill that so many people are not equipped to handle, even as adults. Then again, if she intentionally snubs anyone during this process, we will not be getting anymore of these types of goodies. I have my fingers crossed that no one gets their feelings hurt today!
14YO is...well, she's fourteen! We did a little 'cell phone switch-a-roo' this past week and she's not sure how to set the alarm on the new one (which is my old one!) so she didn't wake up as early as she'd have liked to. I totally forgot to tell her about that. And she forgot to ask. She still made it out the door on time, so no harm done there.
It just seems like April is not supposed to be this busy. Easter has already come and gone, yet the rest of the month seems really hectic. Every weekend and most weekdays there is something going on, big or small. I cannot remember the last time I cooked a real dinner for my family. (Okay, that's not totally true...I know I cooked a few full dinners last week, but it still seems like it's been to long!)
Yesterday, I had a day at home ALL BY MYSELF. It was awesome! I spent all day in my pajamas trying to cram as many episodes of 'Weeds' into my day as possible. I woke up with a headache and it stayed with me the whole entire day, even with my allergy meds and regular doses of ibuprofen. I've recently gotten hooked on that show on Netflix and am now almost halfway through the second season. I can't watch it with the kids around, so it will probably take me FOREVER to get through all of them! How often am I still conscious with no kids around?
Speaking of kids, 4YO is parading around in MY high heels and asking me to paint her nails. AGAIN. This one's not going to be so easy to raise, is she?

April 1, 2010

Clown Makeup, Spoiled Milk, Old Movies, Knitting, and Antisocial Tendencies

It's April Fool's Day. Did you know that? And the TWO SOCKS you see in the above picture? NO JOKE! I actually KNITTED THEM! (Well, the one on the right is not done, but the only part left is some mindless Knit 2, Purl 2 ribbing that a monkey could do...so I guess I'll be able to finish it just the same...)

I don't think that I'll have anyone pull any pranks on me today. (That is, I HOPE they don't!) You see, I make myself more of a fool than anyone else ever could. So, I'm hoping they just spare me.

Allow me to explain.

I was in a hurry the other day (okay when am I NOT in a hurry?) and had to run through Target really quickly. I had bought some new Burt's Bees Tinted Lip Shimmer stuff because I love that it gives my lips a little color without making it feel like actual lipstick, but I hadn't used it yet. It was a shade I hadn't tried before but it didn't seem too different than the shade I had used previously. While in line to checkout at Target, I realized that my lips felt a little dry. I pulled out the lip balm and applied it right there. I was next in line and was out in a matter of minutes. While in line and on my way out to the parking lot, I noticed more eye contact and smiles than usual. Nothing too obvious, I just thought I was passing strangers who were friendlier than usual!

As I put my purchases in the back and climbed into the driver's seat, I glanced up at the mirror in my visor.


I must have applied it like normal chapstick and not realized that this was much darker than the one I used to have! When I think back, the way people looked and smiled at me was probably a lot like the way I would look and smile at the elderly woman who used to come into one of the pet stores I worked at. This woman obviously didn't see as well as she once did and clearly still did her own makeup. The term 'coloring outside the lines' didn't even come close to what this woman did with her darkly colored eyeshadow, lipstick and blush. Nobody dared tell her what it really looked like because she looked like she carried herself with such confidence. And who wants to shatter the confidence of someone like that? So, most people just smiled and nodded as usual, myself included.

I've really been on a roll this week, too! I stopped by this little local market to pay almost three times the price for a gallon of milk because it was pretty much all we really needed and it was close by. I also picked up a few things for dinner that we could just toss in the oven when we got home. It was getting late and the girls were getting a bit whiney and obnoxious, so we grabbed our stuff and hurried into the house. I even remember sending 14YO out to the car to grab two more things I'd forgotten to grab the first time.

The next morning, David was up and getting ready for work. He mentioned that he hadn't eaten yet and didn't want to have his usual cereal because we were so low on milk.

"But, there's a whole new gallon in there. I bought it last night!"

He opened the fridge to reveal that the gallon that I speak of is nowhere to be found.

*slaps forehead*

That was an 'OH CRAP' moment for me, you know? I'd forgotten the milk the first time and 14YO had missed it the second time she went out. It's not so cold here these days, even at night. That milk had been in there more than twelve hours and was not cold enough. UGH! I just spent five dollars on a gallon of milk just to pour it down the drain!

*slaps forehead again*

I just don't think my brain functions properly at times...

I did manage to turn the heel of my SECOND SOCK yesterday, though! (See above picture) That was huge for me. 14YO was with Grandma and 7YO and 4YO were playing nicely in their room for most of the day. It was the perfect opportunity to plop my rear end on the couch with my knitting and phone beside me and surf through my instant queue on Netflix. I went back in time a bit, watching movies from my childhood. First up was 'The Boy Who Could Fly.' Anyone remember that one? Classic. Next up was an even older movie, and from my understanding they are remaking it: Ice Castles. Talk about a tear-jerker! That movie was made in 1978! I cannot remember the last time I had seen that movie, but I cleary recall the last scene: "We forgot about the flowers."


Gets to me everytime...

They were the perfect thing to watch while I turned the heel of that sock, too. Unfortunately, those movies put me in a sort of moody, weepy, wanting-to-crawl-under-a-blanket-and-inside-my-own-head-and-stay-awhile kind of mindset. I had a few errands to run after that with the 4YO and 7YO and I really just wanted to stay inside my own head a bit longer and mope. No such luck. I got over it before we got back home. I always do.

Anyhow, this is the longest stretch I've been in front of my computer in a long time and nothing else is getting done, so I must correct that.