When 15YO was in first grade, her class did a “Patriotic Program” at school. Each child had a speaking part during the performance. My child was given a rather wordy part, but her teacher assured us that she was more than capable of handling it. So, my ever-determined first grader repeated her part out loud so many times that the entire household had it memorized in time for her performance. This was her part:
“On the Statue of Liberty are these words: Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”
This was the first time I had heard of the term “tempest-tossed”, and I had no clue how much it would come to resonate with me. Merriam-Webster describes this term as “tossed about or agitated violently, thrown into confusion, or overwhelmed.” It could be used to describe a ship at sea during a violent storm, being tossed around so that all it can do is hope it can remain afloat once the storm has passed.
I have come to realized that I feel much like the tempest-tossed ship.
I’m not trying to say that I have a more difficult life than anyone else. I know, for a fact, that is not the case. The truth is that everyone has difficulties in their lives, and not all of those difficulties are based on their own choices. All of my storms are based on my own choices, and I have no regrets in choosing them.
But I am tired.
I don’t think this feeling is just a result of my life choices, but is also a result of the world we live in. It often feels like life is a race that has already started while I am still trying to figure out which shoes I should wear. Should I wear the really comfortable ones? The ones that give me the most support and should help me finish strong? The ones that look best with what I am wearing? What about those shoes that everyone else seems to want? Am I supposed to want those shoes?
I was recently told that I seem to focus more on the things I have not accomplished rather than giving myself credit for the things I have and am currently accomplishing. I guess that is probably true. But it is difficult to forget about what needs to be done when I feel like everyone else is already halfway through their race and I am still digging through my sock drawer trying to find that one pair that doesn’t slide a little more off my heel with each step I take. What if I get distracted trying to organize said sock drawer and forget to join the race altogether?
It’s easy to feel tempest-tossed in a world like this one. I imagine I am not alone in this feeling. So, if you feel like you are a ship trying its best to weather a storm, just know you are in good company. (Okay, maybe not good company, but company nonetheless!)
Sometimes, all we can really do is batten down the hatches and aim for clearer skies. And most storms come with really great stories.
