Starting over and remembering to write a new date on my checks!

I'm starting to really understand why New Year's resolutions are so popular.

For me, nothing makes me certain of how much of a glutton and how disorganized I am than the holidays. The planning, the shopping, the baking, the parties, the cards...it all just involves so many details that it's easy to feel like you're on a treadmill that's going slightly faster than you'll ever be able to run. I eat more, yet I cook less. I shop more, I sleep less...it's just a vicious downward spiral of my confidence in myself and more and more things get put on the back burner every single day.

I don't know why I do this to myself. Come the day after Christmas, I have all sorts of ideas and plans in place to make next year's holiday season much more organized and less stressful. But, the same thing happens every year anyhow: I put things off until the last minute so I can spend five minutes shopping for what I want to buy only to spend 35 minutes in line to get that lip gloss that 13YO's Christmas will not be complete without. (That's not my rational side talking, that's the panicked one who feels like they're forgetting something important and starts just buying random crap to fill in the gaps that aren't there.) At least it's nice to know that other people procrastinate too. I just wish I'd gotten to the store before them!

This year seemed harder, for some reason. Something was missing. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that 2009 won't be missed. I am so blessed to be as fortunate as I am, but I still see so many hardships going on around me. So many more negative things seemed to stand out this year rather than most. So many people I know lost their jobs, their homes, loved ones...my own happiness seems rather bittersweet, really.

But, in six days, the calendar will grant many of us a 'clean slate' of sorts. Sure, it will probably only take a couple of days, or even minutes, for many towns to have their first murder of the year. Let's just hope a baby is born first to make it feel like a more positive beginning. In homes all over the country, people will notice their pants getting tighter (mine, TOTALLY) and start to exercise and eat better. People buy or unfreeze their gym memberships. Healthy food disappears off the shelves of supermarkets slightly more quickly than the Twinkies. Beds get made and teeth get flossed twice a day. Closets are cleaned out and people are either going to bed earlier or staying up later to finish up everything they intend to do, if they never usually finish things. (ME AGAIN!)

This month, I think I became more tired than I ever had before. As a lifetime biter of my fingernails, I was shocked to realize that I had been too tired or preoccupied to BITE MY NAILS. Seriously. My nails have never been longer. At least, not without having to purchase them! Normally, the stress the holiday season brings has me chewing my nails down to the skin at least once or twice. Nope. I've been cutting and filing them down. I've been too tired to chew on my fingernails. Or too lazy, I don't know. My DVR is about to burst with all the things I've put off watching and deleting. And with all that I've been doing, I still feel like I've gotten so little done. It's almost like running in circles and forgetting to put a bra on..it's not pretty!

So, I plan to welcome 2010 with open arms. And well-flossed teeth and a tidier closet. I might even dust off the elliptical machine, (I really need to!) and spend less time on Facebook and...okay, so let's not go crazy here! I do hope that I do things a bit better this year. I want to spend more time in the here and now and less time worrying about what might happen tomorrow or dwelling on yesterday. Yesterday is in the past and I'm sure, no matter how bad yesterday was, I learned something from it. I seems that the more I learn the more I realize how little I actually know. And really, I can only do so much about what tomorrow holds. I need to find joy in each day and each person in my life no matter what is tossed my way.

How are you planning to make your life different in 2010?

HO HO HO-liday Exhaustion

*YAWNS*

I seriously just yawned three times between the time I typed the title to this post and the time I typed this sentence. I feel like someone just turned my 'treadmill of life' up to 'HIGH' and I forgot to bring my inhaler.

Did that make sense? Who knows? I have to be honest and tell you that I'm typing this blog to A) Vent and whine a bit about the stress of the holidays B) Actually type up a new post and dust the cobwebs off my last post and C) Maybe I can actually finish SOMETHING today in completing a blog post. So, don't expect much of this to make actual sense.

That sort of reminds me of my friend Jenna. I call her my friend, yet we have never met. Possibly will never meet, actually! Isn't it funny how the world has changed that way? There are people in my life who affect me on an almost daily basis and we may never meet face-to-face. Well, Jenna's one of them. HI JENNA!

Choo choooooooo...CRASH! My train of thought just derailed again. Sorry about that. I'd like to say it won't happen again, but who are we kidding here?

ANYWHOOOO...Jenna writes about the chaos in her life that would make Erma Bombeck proud. When things are the most crazy, she often includes a little jibberish note to her husband about her day and it's just hysterical. A chaotic Jenna note would often include rambling about the toaster with the mailman and coffee grounds. Yet, in the moment, it makes SO MUCH SENSE! Here's a sample of something that would be written in true overwhelmed Jenna fashion:

Dear HBD,

The light bulbs on the toaster with the comcast guy and all the dog poop. Coffee is gone and the stamps aren't stickers and the all the screaming. Fondue? Doorknob clock dishwasher flooded in the water pik with the crayons.

I'm so sorry. That's not nearly as wonderfully clever and crazy as Jenna can put it.

*Bowing down*

I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!

CRASH! There goes my train of thought again....

I need to hurry up and get my Christmas cards out. Yes. I'm late. I used to be so on top of things. Okay, so maybe I've gotten lucky a few times...this year is not one of those times. I need to make myself a list and stick to it. Luckily, 3YO is still sleeping. She's still catching up on her sleep she lost a few nights ago when she decided to cough all night long and not let either of us sleep. Even though I got my seven hours of sleep last night, I still woke up this morning feeling like THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST EXHAUSTING DAY OF THE YEAR. Seriously. Tomorrow is the last day of school before they get THREE WEEKS OFF for Christmas vacation. I would still like to find out why they feel the need to tack another week of vacation on at the end. I could really use that extra week BEFORE Christmas. I remember being a kid and having the traditional two weeks off. It was normally a week before Christmas (give or take a few days) and about a week after. We ended up going back to school a couple of days after New Year's Day and we were ready. The thrill of all the new toys and Christmas cheer had worn off by then and I'm pretty sure we were just basically annoying. That's about how it is here, only we have ANOTHER WEEK to contend with them! I firmly believe that the people who came up with this new schedule don't actually have children of their own.

Okay, so on a completely unrelated matter, what is UP with all the socially awkward Target commercials? I get uncomfortable just watching them. The last thing I want to do is buy someone a gift from Target if it's going to put me into the awkward predicament that the people in the commercial are in. Target really needs to analyze their marketing strategy. Most people try to avoid the situations that we are witnessing in those horrible commercials.

'Nuff said there.

Since I'm whining about time and energy and all that, I need to stop spending time on this blog and get those cards out. This year my cards have taken the least amount of effort...which makes it that much easier to put off! Why do we do that to ourselves???

Anyhow, may you have just enough 'BAH HUMBUG' in your holiday season to really appreciate the 'Merry Christmas' when you see it! Sometimes, you just have to look a little harder to find the joy but it's always hiding there somewhere...

FALALALAA-AAACHO! *COUGH* *HACK!* *MOAN*

I must say that we've been pretty lucky around here. Health-wise, anyway. That being said, we have not fully escaped the cooties. Thanksgiving week was full of fevers and coughing and those preschool-type sneezes that shoot snot out of both nostrils at once and make your child look like they have walrus tusks. I guess we've had our share.

So many people that I know have been affected by H1N1. I've known a few that know for sure they've had it. Others just assumed. I've heard it described as the worst flu you've ever had...times TEN. OUCH.

My worst problems this time of year have to do with headaches. Cramming more planning and shopping and stressing messes up my eating and sleeping routines even more than ordinary life can. When my eating and sleeping schedules are messed up, I am much more susceptible to migraine headaches. Ironically, migraine headaches mess up my eating and sleeping regimens even more.

Do you see a downward spiral forming here?

Plus, today's weather seems to have brought on a sinus headache of some sort. I just want to squeeze my eyes shut tight and wait for it to pass...but that might pop the invisible balloon I have behind my eyes and my brain could fall out.

Ever feel like that?

Really, it's enough to make you want to say, "BAH HUMBUG!" Then, I turn the lights on on my Christmas tree and put something 'Christmas-sy' on the televsion or stereo and things seem more managable. I just need to grab another cup of coffee and take a few more ibuprofen and I can be back on top of things again. The weather outside really is 'frightful' today. It's dark and gloomy and cold and rainy and windy. I just crank up the heated a big higher and focus on the sparkly lights shining on my tree. I've only put a few wrapped presents under the tree and none of them have names on them. That's really just my way of having fun with my family. (Okay, so I'm TORTURING THEM.) 3YO is not entirely clear on why we can't open the presents NOW. She'll get over that. (I hope.) Last year was too long ago for her to remember any of the specifics on how we do things at Christmas.

6YO actually wants a guitar for Christmas. Since I would love for her to find an instrument she loves to play, it sounds like a good idea to me. Only, this does mean that I have a lot of research to do! AACK!

Well, with the last load of laundry in the dryer, I think it's time to pop in a movie and grab a blanket. I have a bit of time before I need to get ready to pick up the girls from school and lying on the couch on a day like this (if only for a couple of hours) sounds just perfect.