November 24, 2010

Could somebody please give that woman the bird? it safe to say that the holidays are here?

It's funny how everyone has their own view of when the holidays should start, as well as how everything should go.  So many people on Facebook alone were offended by the fact that some stores and radio stations started playing Christmas music before the Halloween candy was even gone.

Me?  I happen to love Christmas music.  We really only listen to it a little less than one month a year, so squeezing in a little extra in line at the grocery store or cruising around in my 'mommy-mobile' is the icing on the cake for me.  In fact, I usually get to the point every July where I pull out a Christmas cd and play it.  It's nice to close my eyes and imagine being able to see my breath (that is, without having anything to do with how much garlic I had for lunch!) and picture the twinkling lights on the houses.  (Or NOT twinkling..whichever you prefer.  That's another thing that some people seem to be very passionate about!) 

I'm normally pretty ahead of things when it comes to shopping for the Thanksgiving feast.  My mom and I have a standing arrangement that I do the turkey and about half the sides and desserts and she does the ham and the other half of the sides and desserts.  It works well for us.  Our system is even in place in a file on my computer because making a list off the top of our heads each year got to be a little too adventurous for us! 

I can actually say I'm ahead of my normal schedule as far as Christmas shopping goes.  I have purchased quite a few things and am keeping track of everything in one place.  I have a list of ideas and things to purchase, as well as how much I spend.  Well, knowing myself and how I have to drop a ball to keep another one in play, it should have come as no surprise that I only started shopping for the Thanksgiving dinner stuff yesterday.  Two days before Thanksgiving.  Because that's how I roll.  (At least, it is this year apparently!)

I was certainly not alone out there in my discount supermarket of choice.  The aisles of Thanksgiving sustenence were far more crowded than the others.  Luckily, there was plenty to go around.  However, there was one lady camping out around the frozen turkeys that would probably beg to differ.  She waited until two days before Thanksgiving to buy her turkeyand she seemed the most devastated that there were no more 20-pound birds there waiting for her.   When I pulled up with my shopping cart, she was feverishly digging through the frozen birds and voicing the poundage of each with much irritation in her tone. 

I thought it was kind of cool.  I knew how much all of those turkeys weighed without having to get frostbitten fingers myself.  I was benefitting from her misfortune!  Of course, I would have liked to get a larger turkey as well, but that's my own fault for not having gone shopping until the very last minute.  How can I possibly blame that on anyone but myself?  

In the end, I opted for two 12-pound birdies.  What could possibly be wrong with having twice as many drumsticks?  I don't really see the flaw in that.  I cook my turkeys in this big roaster oven, sort of like giant crock pot.  Both fit in there nicely.  

As I took a few laps around the frozen foods section to pick up whatever else I may have forgotten, I passed by the frozen turkeys again.  That same woman was there, though she was no longer digging through the frozen birds.  Instead, she was standing next to her cart a few feet away, alternating her evil stares between the case of frozen turkeys and whichever unfortunate employees happened to pass.  This is when I realized that her husband was there with her.  I was relieved that he was her husband, because at first he just seemed like some guy that she started yelling at as he walked up to the case of turkeys and started looking through them.  

"I already looked through all of them!  There are no big ones!!!" she snapped as she just stood there scowling.  Was she waiting for a manager or something?  What did she think was going to happen waiting so late to shop? 

Yes, she eventually gave up and did the rest of her shopping.  However, the sour look on her face never diminished.  The world had let her down.

I love the holidays.  The lights, the music, the reason for the season, the food, the magic in the air...awesome.  Also, the people-watching....SPECTACULAR!  People get a little more intense and let their freak flags fly more than they normally would.

And that, my friends, is better than cable.


Laura said...

You are hilarious! I love it. My freaky factor goes higher with the additional stress too :)

Leann I Am said...

Hehehe....then I'd like to thank you in advance for any entertainment you might provide for me this holiday season. Whether you mean to or not!