September 9, 2007

A Dash of Reality

I cried myself to sleep last night.

Now, this isn’t actually a bad thing, really. Yesterday was a pretty good day. My new hair color was looking even better in the light of day and I was adjusting to it. It was BIL’s birthday and we all went out for a terrific steak dinner. I like me a good, rare steak! Friday’s soccer game and last night’s football were both canceled due to the poor air quality. The weekend was ours for the taking.

I guess I’m just tired. I’ve been having so many headaches lately. While I haven’t been to a doctor for these particular episodes, I think I have it narrowed down to a couple of things: Stress and TMJ.

I’ve pretty much always had TMJ. I’ve come to the conclusion that most of my childhood headaches (that weren’t migraine-related) were due to all the gum chewing of my early years. I chewed a lot of gum and had a lot of headaches. I guess it doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out, eh? My TMJ hasn’t really bothered me since I last worked. I even have a splint I can wear at night but I haven’t worn it in years. When I’m stressed, I seem to clench my jaw when I sleep or something. I can’t even stop it from happening, as I’m not conscious when I do it. It leads to a tired jaw and a yucky headache, though. I should probably take this problem to my dentist, huh?

My schedule has been pretty crazy as of lately. I think the pressure is getting to me in ways I didn’t expect. My headaches are becoming more and more frequent because I always seem to be on edge. I could see a doctor and get on some good pain relievers/muscle relaxers to make me more comfortable. But would that change my situation? Probably not.

I guess I just need to find a good release for it all. I am just another over-extended and under-appreciated mom. This is not exactly front-page news.

So, I was just thinking about the chaos of my days and how so little of my life feels like I have any control over it. I am at the beckon call of the world. (Not really….it just seems that way sometimes!) As I lay there in bed I let all of those things sort of well up inside of me. I guess they just needed to come out because I sobbed quietly into my own pillow like I hadn't in years. My jaw was tired and the pain spread from my forehead, over the top of my head, down my neck and across my shoulders. (These are the days when I wish the man I married was actually willing to give massages!) I thought of getting up and taking something for the pain, but I was too tired to move. I fell asleep almost instantly.

This morning I woke up headache-free. I popped up, cleaned the kitchen and got some laundry going. A couple of cups of coffee later and I feel like a new woman. It’s time to get the ibuprofen monkey off my back and get to the root of my discomfort: My hectic schedule.

It’s time to downsize.

For today, I am watching Wild Hogs with my family and laughing my butt off. I’ll just worry about the rest tomorrow.


Shakes said...

Sooo... is this what I have to look forward to when the kids are both in school? I love my weekends of nothingness... just yesterday we did nothing all day, we did not leave the house untill 5something, or maybe it was 6...

Anyway, I hope you are able to relax more often! You are not forgotten! I think of you and your chickens all the time! Oh yea, and the kids too!

Kari said...

Oh, Girlie, I have TMJ too and I hate it. Not as much as Mike does though...LOL. Anyway, you can actually hear mine crack from time to time. I'm supposed to sleep with a guard in, but I can't sleep with it in. I just have to get my teeth fixed is all. But that's where all my headaches come from. I can actually feel them coming on AS I'm clenching my teeth.

wildtomato said...

The boy has TMJ and is finally wearing his splint again. It really lessens his headaches.

Easier said than done, but I hope you can find some time to just concentrate on yourself. If I was there, I'd take you out to dinner sans kids!

slouching mom said...

i think there's a simple kind of night guard your dentist can give you to reduce the ill effects of tmj. it might be worth checking out.

i'm sorry life has been chaotic -- hope it settles a bit.