THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!

I've come here today to mock my neighbors, my peers.

Now, I live in Central California...or the San Joaquin Valley, as some would see it. We are known for agricultural stuff mostly. We are supposed to have some of the most fertile soil in the world. At least, that's what an old science teacher once told me. That's really funny considering this is also technically a DESERT, since we get less than ten inches of rain a year.

I guess I'm basically telling you this so that you understand that the weather here is pretty mild, for the most part. We whine about needing rain. But, when it actually rains as much as .38 of a inch, the streets flood and cars break down in them and every store will be lined with buckets to catch all the rain that our pitiful roofs cannot handle. And they will talk about it for HOURS on the news. We have 'storm warnings' interrupting our favorite shows every five minutes as if the world is actually coming to an end.

I think the wind might have actually gotten as bad as 25 mph or so. Yeah, people in other states are laughing their asses off when they see our 'meteorologists' running around like a bunch of Chicken Littles yelling as if they sky is actually falling all around them.

I honestly know that I, myself, have not actualy experienced real weather. We are pretty much protected from having any real seasons like the majority of the country might experience. It might snow here every ten years or so and it might last long enough for one to take a couple of pictures. Granted, snow is available to us several months a year if we are willing to drive an hour or two to see it. The ocean is also just a couple of hours away from us. In many ways, we are pretty fortunate. I like to say we're 'two hours from greatness in almost any direction.'

In the middle of winter, the temperature usually does dip below freezing a few times. Then, our 'Storm Watch' turns into our 'Freeze Watch' on our nightly news channels. That's when the farmers stay awake for days at a time to do whatever it takes to keep their crop from freezing. Actual weather really screws things up around here.

We do get a good amount of heat in the summertime. The thermometer will be well over 100 degress every day for days or weeks at a time sometimes. We are lucky to not have the humidity that many other places do. Then again, you need MOISTURE to have HUMIDITY, right?

I guess I just feel that it's gone too far when nickel-sized hail might pay us a visit for, like, 20 minutes or so and they actually interview one of their anchors on the news who witnessed a car break down.

Almost seems a little sad, dontcha think?