Pros and Cons of Living in 'Rural Suburbia'

There are a lot of reasons one might not want to live out in the middle of nowhere.


First of all, the price of gas makes it hard to justify leaving the house every single day. Many people act as though we live so far away that they feel they need to go to the bathroom and pack a snack before they drive to our house. (The drive is about 20-25 minutes for most of them.)


We also live too far out to have city water or be connected to a sewer system. We have to have our own well and septic tank. Our home can have problems that are not only costly but also completely disgusting.


Since we are on a well, we use electricity to actually pump our water out of the ground. When the power goes out, we don’t usually have much water either. And knowing I don’t have water always makes me thirsty!


There is no fast food around the corner. The nearest store is 7-8 miles away from our house and it doesn’t have the best selection or prices. We have a few little restaurants near the store but all of those are still at least a ten-minute drive from home. This can be seen as bad and good, since my thighs could be even larger were there a Taco Bell right around the corner!


There are some other good points to living in the ‘sticks.’


We can see the stars. You think you see a lot of stars and then you end up in a place where streetlights don’t exist and realize what ‘a lot of stars’ really means. You can hear crickets, frogs, and the occasional pack of wild dogs at night.


You can watch your television as loud as you like without disturbing your neighbors and they can do the same.

You can also, if you want to, pick up little critters like these little guys for the kids and know that you are actually zoned to own them!

That’s right! David surprised the girls with these little cuties just yesterday! They are supposed to all be hens and who doesn’t love fresh eggs? They are five days old now and so cute that it almost hurts!

OUCH!!!

Someday, she'll be telling SOMEONE what to do!

Saturday was 11YO's first football game of the season. There has been a flu bug going around that seems to start with a headache and make you feel really yucky. Unfortunately, cheerleading in 100+ degree weather in a town that holds more cows than people can also give you a headache. So while I'm not really sure of the reason, 11YO felt sick not 20 minutes into the game and had to sit out the rest of it. She said her head was hurting and she was dizzy.

Well, 4YO wouldn't let it go. She was really bothered by the fact that her big sister wasn't out there cheering during her own game. (Call it good 'work ethics' or just being a control freak. Who knows!)

So, 4YO says, "When I get big, I'm going to be the boss of all the cheerleaders. When I am the boss then [11YO] will be fired."

Part of me hopes that I never need her to sign my paycheck!

Testing. 1, 2, 3...

I only have a minute and have been curious about something. My Google Adsense Ads seem to always go along with the content of my blog.


So, that being said:




Aquariums!


Garden supplies!


Tampons!


I just wonder which ones will catch on. I cannot ask you to click on these ads, even though that is the only way I could make any money off of them. So, I will not ask you to click on them. I guess I am taking the ‘CRABMOMMY approach’ to being subtle. Speaking of her, you should check her out. She’s a great read!

The Complexity of the Male Mind

Could I please get some insight here? I am completely dumbfounded by the inner workings of the male mind.


Let me give you a little background story first. I must share with you how the famous Greenhouse Window Argument of ‘04 came to be.


I can’t remember where we had been that day. We might have just come from church or shopping or something, but it was a Sunday for sure and we were on our way home. We were all together and driving down a road we’ve driven hundreds of times before. It was a beautiful afternoon and the sun was about to set. All was quiet in the car as we coasted down this familiar road lined with some small businesses and many homes.


I happened to notice that one of the homes we passed had one of those kitchen windows that actually sticks out past the perimeters of the house and is a shelf for plants and such. I think they usually put them over the kitchen sink or off the dining room or something. Since I have a horrible reputation of neglecting houseplants to the point of their demise, one of those seems to be the perfect solution for me. Any plants located directly over the kitchen sink have the best chance for survival in my care.


So, we’re in the car and I casually mention to David that someday it might be nice if I had one of those windows I could keep plants in over the kitchen sink. No deadlines. No shopping requests. As far as I’m concerned, he should not feel any pressure at all from that statement.


Yeah, right! That evening ended with David coming home and making a huge list of all the things he felt he needed to get done around the house. The items on the list ranged from putting on a new roof (which we hired someone to do two years later without ever having a single leak) to tiling the shower in our bathroom. With all the things I’m supposed to do as a mother, maybe I should make a list like that. I do believe that there is not enough paper in this house for me to list all the things I should get done in the next couple of years!


So, somehow this seemingly harmless statement turns into a heated discussion that elevates to an actual argument over nothing. This thing that which does not exist in our world and I may want ten or fifteen years down the road has caused turmoil on our otherwise peaceful drive home. Apparently, expressing my possible future wants is more than he can bear to handle right now. I might as well be telling him that what we have is not good enough and never will be.


Jumping ahead to this morning, this subject came up again. I have been eyeing this kitchen table at Sam’s Club for weeks now. It’s square, comes with eight chairs that all fit around it and expands to comfortably accommodate our family and then some. The table we have right now is small and round. It supposedly has leafs to make it bigger but their location (and even their existence) is a big mystery at this point. Getting five people to be able to sit and dine comfortably at this table in its current state is no easy task. If we have anyone else here for dinner, we just give the table to the kids and we grown-ups just sit on the couch and balance our plate on our laps. Now that’s some real family bonding time!


So, I saw the table I want just a few days ago. I happened to notice that it was marked down to about $600.00 and it was the last one. I’m sure it’s gone by now, so I figured that it was safe to mention it to David. I told him that I saw a table that would totally fit our needs. It was a pretty good price and I’m sure it’s gone now, but it is something to think about. I said nothing of wishing I could buy the table right now or even in the near future. I was just happy that I finally know what should work for our family. I have a goal, dream, whatever you want to call it. Everyone fitting well around the same table enjoying dinner is the picture that comes into my head when I think of this table. I can even envision baskets piled high with freshly baked biscuits being passed around the table and someone telling a funny story that sends milk out of someone else's nose and gravy boats...okay, so maybe I've seen too many episodes of 'The Waltons' or something, but you get my point right?


David gets a very different picture in his head when I mention a new table. He thinks I’m basically saying that our current table is just something else I’m not happy about. Suggesting that the table we have is not the table of my dreams is basically like telling him he’s a failure as a provider and he married an ungrateful woman. This really is a game where nobody can win.


Now, either David and I are just a couple of oddballs or other people have this breakdown of communication in their marriages as well. So, can someone please either tell me how I can do things differently or at least tell me that we’re normal?


I honestly thought that we females were supposed to be the complicated ones. Maybe we are and I’m just too complicated to see it.

It's A Conspiracy...

I think I finally have it all figured out.


That’s right. I know why being a parent is so exhausting. It’s not the lack of sleep. My children don’t make it a habit of waking me in the night. (And, NO…it’s not because I’m not the nicest person when awoken from my slumber. I don’t think that’s why, anyway!) It’s because they waste energy.


Think about it: How many rational people just run in circles and scream for no reason? I know my children do. And watching them alone is completely exhausting. I used to think that just watching them was what made me feel tired. Seeing all that energy being used for THAT when it could be washing my car or something. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. Have you seen the ‘Baby Be of Use’ series? Seriously, I believe that woman may be onto something!


It occurred to me today (While my girls were running in circles and squealing their heads off for no apparent reason. Again.) That they may have figured out a way to harness our energy and use it for their own wasteful reasons. They are using my energy. They have tapped into my energy and made it their own. And they are giving me nothing in return.


I’ve always jokingly called my children ‘parasites’ from the time I became pregnant with my first. They latch onto a blood source and give nothing back. Okay. I take that back. They give you a lot, really. Personally, being a mother has given me more varicose veins than I can ever really thank them for, a much larger backside, and vivid memories of morning sickness, sore boobs and being completely exhausted. Not to mention the hormonal shifts made me especially vulnerable to phone solicitors that convinced me I could cure some horrible childhood illness with my measely little donation. I’m still paying for that one. (’Do No Call List’ my @$$!!!)


And have I mentioned that my left foot still swells every single day? More than most pregnant people I know, I might add! Ever since the first pregnancy my large ankles and foot have been my constant companion. And the list (along with my thighs) just keeps growing!


So, these clever little boogers have figured out how to harness my energy and make me tired. At least, that’s what I have to throw back at them when they get old enough to blame me for ruining their lives. That’s not actually what I’m shooting for in this whole ‘parenting gig’ but you have to be prepared, right?

The Honeymoon's Over

1YO and her ‘man’ have had a spat, of sorts. He came over with his mom this morning to borrow something. She was so eager to see him…at first. She ran right up to him and hugged him. She immediately wanted to hold his hand and his mom just melted. My 1YO loved having him there. That is, until he tried to pick up one of her toys.


Imagine the nerve of that kid!


Giggle


It was soon apparent she was no longer enjoying her guest. She pushed him. She hit him. She threw toys at him. She tried to slap the pacifier right out of his mouth.


At this point, I’m thinking that she doesn’t make for a very good hostess.


That poor boy spent about as much time in next to his mom as he did playing with the girls. I guess he never knew girls could be such bullies! You see, he only has an older brother and I’m sure he thought he was a bully. Until today, that is.


I am putting the harness in the car. It’s time to treat my toddler like she’s a puppy that I can take to the grocery store. She and her older sister pretend to be puppies and walk each other around on it all the time. She enjoys it…when it’s her choice!


Today will be interesting, to say the least.

I have a new goal...

...and it happens to be to scare the living pee out of my own child. Is that wrong?

The above picture is the demon in question. This was taken a few months ago and she's already changed so much, but don't her eyes just say it all?

The kid is definitely up to something.

Oh, the plans she must have! Someday, I think she hopes to take over the world. She's on her way, that's for sure. And the dimples? They are merely there to distract and disarm you when she is on a mission. It only takes one dimply, sparkly grin for her to gain control. Combining that with a good belly giggle has been known to drop grown men to their knees.

Seriously, I need to find something that this child is afraid of. Her favorite 'game' of wriggling out of my grasp and darting across the parking lot at a full sprint is getting very old. She is not afraid of cars. She is not afraid of strangers. More importantly, she is not afraid of me nor David. Mommy and Daddy using their best 'game face' and angry tone of voice do nothing for her. Well, I shouldn't really say that. They do something for her: They make her laugh like that was the best joke she's ever heard!

And to think I never knew I was that funny.

I beginning to become afraid for her. I mean, my first two never gave me these kinds of worries. I'm starting to think that the first two being so calm has absolutely nothing to do with my parenting skills. They actually had me fooled into thinking I was a good mom. My second one had me worried for a bit but really seems to be turning into a pretty likeable little kid. She is even overcoming her extreme shyness and making friends her own age.

Frankly, I'd rather deal with shyness. I used to joke about needing 'Prozac for preschoolers' for her. Funny thing is, I don't see 1YO and I getting through her childhood without at least one of us being on some sort of medication.

In the meantime, it's time to start keeping the harness in the car. That's right, I'll be 'that mommy!' And proud of it when we both come out of this phase in one piece.

Any words of wisdom for this stressed-out mommy? I would absolutely love some input here.

Now, where did I put that harness?

My Cup Runneth Over...with Linky Love!

This is a great thing. I got this from Lynne's page and thought I would spread the love.

If you are not already on the list, simply copy the list, add yourself to it (and anyone else you’d like to add) and post it on your site. Leave me a comment when you’ve done this and I will add you to my list.
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I'm not sure what's worse...

*David and 4YO are stretching out together on the soccer field*

...being a full-fledged 'soccer mom' or turning into my own mother. 4YO had her first soccer practice today. At first, she would not leave our sides to join the rest of the kids. Toward the end, she started to loosen up and practice with the rest of the kids. Life just got a little crazier!

I had another 'I'm turning into my own mother' moment last night. We were trying to run a few quick errands and still get home in time to see 'High School Musical 2.' Seems silly enough, but my girls have been watching the calendar for weeks waiting for that to come on! It's the kind of anticipation where lots of high-pitched squealing erupts. Oh yeah, thank you Disney Channel. Like my kids needed one more reason to squeal! The girls needed to use the restroom and I actually told them, "Okay. But don't dilly-dally!" As it came out of my mouth, it even sounded like she said it.

I'll start looking for a therapist first thing Monday morning.

This will be in the slide show at their wedding...

NO....although arranged marriages sounded really easy when I was sick of dating, I will let my children choose their own spouses. That being said, if 1YO picked this kid I would not be disappointed! He is three weeks (to the day) younger than she is.

The funny thing is that they already sort of fight like a married couple! She screeches at him and pushes him away. He looks at her like she's crazy and walks away. Plus, they have so much in common! The both like their sippy cups, the Teletubbies, and to spit their juice on things. They are both really busy little people but seem to balance each other out pretty well.

Plus, he's our neighbor and we get along with his family really well. Now, I'm not ordering the cake just yet, but David and I are pretty sure that there will be at least a little dating between the two families when they are older. As a matter of fact, his grandparents grew up as neighbors and ended up getting married. They are still happily married.

It's crazy to think about the paths our kids will take as they grow. What's worse is how little control we actually have over any of it. I want them to grow up surrounded by wonderful things. But, I also want them to have their share of heartache to keep them grounded and gain appreciation and perspective from it. I also want them to be healthy and open-minded. And skinny. Skinny and with lots of shoes.

*giggle*

What do you want for your children?

Nobody puts 'Baby' in a corner...

1YO has begun to refer to herself as 'Baby.' I guess it's to be expected. She is the youngest and not even two yet, so we refer to her as 'The Baby' quite often.

She can't quite pronounce her own name. If you ask her what her name is, she'll usually just say 'Baby.' It's easier, I guess. And she's most likely to remain the youngest in the family, so she'll always be my baby, right?

However, I see this 'Baby' spending a quite a bit of her young life in a corner, on some level. If she doesn't mellow with age, I can also see her 'doing time' in the principal's office or, at the very least, detention.

It could be worse, right? She could refer to herself as 'Princess.'

Wait. I have one of those too.

Future Photographers and Cheesy Models

Oh yeah...I'm SO framing this one!

And can you believe that 4YO took this one? I think she may be onto something here...

Finding Common Grounds On Date Night

It's sad, but David and I haven't had much 'us time' in the recent months. There has just been so much going on that it's been so easy for that kind of stuff to get lost in the shuffle.

It doesn't even always hit us until we go somewhere and see a couple that may very well be us in twenty or thirty years. You know, we've all seen those couples that are out somewhere for dinner or coffee and don't seem to have anything to say to one another. It's always a nice reminder that we don't want to be that couple when the kids are grown.

Kids just suck up so much of your life, your identity. It's so easy to be 'Mom' and 'Dad' and leave no room to be anything else. Besides, David works pretty long hours and I spend my days dealing with 11YO, 4YO and the little one I've dubbed 'Demon Spawn.' And for good reason.

We're just so busy taking care of the immediate needs of the family that we don't have time (or energy) for us. I'm not too worried about it because I have heard (and read) this story a thousand times from other parents in similar situations. This is a tough time in anyone's life and I have no doubt we'll get through it. Those couples that we see do tend to be vivid reminders of what could very well be us. If we spend too much time and energy on the kids, will we still know how to be a couple after they grow up? What will we say to each other in a restaurant when we don't have to cut someone else's meat or bargain with them to "pleeeeease just finish a few more bites?"

Yesterday, BIL came over with his 8YO daughter for the weekend. They come just about every other weekend and the kids have a blast. He was nice enough to stay with the girls while David and I had a 'date night.'

We went out to dinner and had a great time. We decided we might even be up for a movie went to the nearest theater next. Most of the movies we were interested in had just started and the next showing wasn't for another hour and a half or so. We can't stay out that late! So, we opted to go to Target and see if there are any movies we would want to buy instead. Besides, that would be even cheaper than the $10.00 per person they charge just to get into the movies! How do people actually pay that when they go to the movies more than a few times a year???

We didn't see any movies that we wanted, but we did pick up a few things we needed for the house. Romantic, I know!

We weren't up for a movie that late, but we didn't want to go home just yet either. So, we went to Starbucks. Starbucks on a Saturday night is perfect for a couple of people-watchin' smack-talkin' folks like us! We found a couple of comfy chairs in the back corner (with an ottoman--SCORE!!!) and the jokes just started coming.

First of all, there was a guy in the middle of Starbucks with a laptop and several piles of paperwork covering the table. He looked as if he were studying, but the only thing he seemed to be studying were all the women walking by. There was an older gentleman in the corner with a pretty snazzy laptop on his lap. He never looked up and was obviously just there for the Wi-Fi. David noted that someone who can afford such a nice laptop should be able to afford his own internet service at home. (I know, so old-fashoined. Isn't he CUTE?)

Then, the kids came in. They were sitting right next to us and from the way their conversation went they must have been around 15 or 16. There were only three or four of them at first but they quickly multiplied into a party of ten or more. They spoke of biology class and who aced it last year. These were the smart kids. Not just smart...but from pretty 'comfortable' families too. They pretty much all had iphones! David quickly ran the numbers in his head to figure out how much money in cell phones alone was crowded around that little table.

David then needed to use the restroom. I lounged in the comfy chair while he went in. The bathroom at this Starbucks was also in the back so I could see who was coming and going. (PUNNY!) A man entered the restroom shortly after David. He came back out almost instantly. David exited shortly after that and came back over. After a few more minutes of chatting, he said, "We need to look for the guy wearing the tan Airwalks."

"Why?"

"Because he didn't wash his hands."

"Eeeww! I was wondering why he came back out so quickly! I thought maybe he just washed his hands or something!"

"Nope. And he didn't even flush the urinal, either!"

"Eeeeww!"

It was then that our evening took a new turn: To find the man whose hand we would not shake! We never did find him, but we definitely found 'David and Leann' at that Starbucks last night. And that's all that we were really looking for anyway.

4YOisms

While folding laundry, 11YO came in to inform me that her 4YO sister had just said 'the D word.' After I was clear about which 'D word' she was talking about, I had her send her sister in.

"Did you just say a bad word?"

"What word?"

"Did you just say 'D@m%?'"

"Yes."

"You're not supposed to say that word. You may hear grown-ups say it, but they're not supposed to. If you say it again, you will get your mouth washed out with soap. Okay?"

"Okay. But what can I say? My toe is bleeding."

After suppressing a giggle, I tell her, "Darn it. You can say 'Darn it."

"Okay."

I asked her to tell her daddy what she said and told him what she told me. She bounced away happily knowing a what word it was okay to say when you stub your toe.

Problem solved.

Do You Know This Kitty?

Yeah, I don't recognize this cat either! He's not ours.

What I do recognize is the stereotype that the cat brings with him. He wanders into our backyard. The two older girls find and him treat him as if he's some helpless baby that needs them. He follows me into the kitchen and sits right down with his tail casually swishing back and forth as if to say, "What's for dinner?" He found the cat door almost instantly. He may not think he belongs to us just yet, but he surely thinks that we belong to him.

Funny, he's obviously someone's cat. He's clean and enjoys people. He reeeeeeeeally enjoys people so much that he starts to purr the moment he thinks someone might touch him.

Here he is, stressed out past the point of return and worried about his family:

Hogan and Shadow are lost as to what they are supposed to be doing. They circle him, half in curiousity and half trying to protect their domain. They barely accept each other and I don't see how they would ever allow a newcomer. He's young and pounces on anything that moves quickly. Hogan and Shadow already have the understanding that Hogan is allowed to chase any cat that moves more quickly than a casual stroll across the living room. This new kid obviously has no clue about how things work around here!

I took the pictures so the girls could take it around and ask the neighbors we know whose cat it is. He apparently knows what a camera is too, because he poses like he's done this before:

So, do you think this one captures his good side?

Old Dogs and Coffee Pots

*A moment of fury. OUT DEMONS, OUT!!!*

This picture has nothing to do with my subject today. We were just having a 'moment' yesterday and I was fortunate enough to have my camera on hand.




I get the feeling that Hogan may not be with us much longer. Although I don't know his exact age, he must be at least 11 or 12! He's got tumors all over his body and his gums are still terribly swollen from the gingival hyperplasia he's had for years. He had been looking really thin in these last few months. Now, he looks more filled-out. I have a really hard time believing that he is suddenly putting on weight now, of all times. Given the fact that he is a Boxer over the age of 10 and covered in so many lumps and bumps and growths, the vet is pretty sure that he's got cancer somewhere in his body. Maybe everywhere.




He has one large tumor on the side of his 'boy part.' (Sorry, I spend my days talking to young girls and it just naturally comes out that way!) Awhile back, that tumor got red and started to smell very foul. I got him into the vet and they cut off the offending bump. However, they also shared with me that the actual tumor was even larger under the skin. They didn't see the need to try to remove it considering his age and the fact that his quality of life still seemed very good. In fact, he's been living life a lot more comfortably that he ever had since we started letting him in the house. The vet thinks it's wise to just leave him be so long as he's not suffering. He's a happy dog.




That is, I know he was happy.




Just yesterday, he started acting strange. When we got home last night, Hogan was really happy to see us. He always is. However, he was especially clingy to me. He wouldn't leave my side. I couldn't even go to the bathroom without him waiting outside the door. I couldn't take a step without feeling his wet Boxer-snout press against my leg as I moved. Okay, so he's always like that! But he was even worse last night!




"That's because you're the MAMA!" is what my mom always says to explain why he thinks I am the only one capable of opening the door to let him out. But it was different last night. He kept looking at me as if he needed something. And he wouldn't settle down. His 'walk' was different and he was really fidgety. Almost uncomfortable.




I get the feeling that we will be taking him back to the vet soon to get him looked over. I just don't want him to suffer. He still holds his bladder and bowels just fine, even though he does sometimes have me up 3 or 4 times a night to let him out. His appetite is good and he still gets around just fine. Wherever we are, there he is curled up on the floor nearby. And he seems happy.




But the pacing and the fidgeting....those are new. I'll have to watch him really closely and get him into the vet soon.




In the meantime, my coffee maker has also started to show signs of distress. My birthday is next month and that just may be the thing I ask for. It's nice to be able to find something I want that's actually attainable. My list of unattainable things is ever-growing, including the staff of people that would carry me around on a velvet pillow and fan me with palm leaves.




A girl can dream, can't she?




As for the dog, I cannot imagine being able to find another one who fits as well into our family as Hogan. We'll probably get another dog....eventually. But there will never, ever be another Hogan.

"Leann looks like a hooker"

Okay...so I played a little game on my Myspace bulletin and that's what I got from Google. Thanks, Google! Could you do me a favor and wait until after I've showered and dressed to pass judgement on me?

Why do things calm down from chaos, only to get even more crazy than they were before?

Okay...I've got a question for you, Internet: How much do you trust the internet? Do you really think all those high dollar firewalls and passwords will protect you? Do you change your passwords often enough?

What do you do to protect yourself? I thought I was being careful. Someone got to me anyway. While it's just money, I feel violated. I would love some input and advice. I had wanted to keep things simple, but I feel the need to 'beef up' security around these parts.

Any advice?

The Poster Child For Birth Control

My baby performed a public service yesterday.

David spent the day driving his sister and the boys to the airport. We all went out for a big breakfast before they left. After that, I had my girls and myself to take care of and we had no clue as to what to do with our day. We ended up at my parents' house where we all decided we should try to see a movie. My mom had been wanting to take the girls to see 'Ratatouille.' I'd been wanting to see that one too. We picked a time, a theater, and off we went. 11YO and 4YO love going to the movies and are never any problem. 1YO even started out doing pretty well. She started out that way, anyway. The one thing I know about being a parent is that I don't really know anything.

The movie was really cute. Well, what I saw of it, anyway! She lost her cool the last half hour (like clockwork!) and wanted to spend the remainder of the movie running up and down the steps next to our seats. Thank you, stadium seating!

The fun of running up and down steps is simply not complete without squealing and shouting 'NO!' at the top of your lungs while your mother tries to quietly coax you back to your seat.

I quickly scooped up the offending child and scurried out of the theater, trying to cover that hole in her face that wouldn't stop making noise. We ended up in the hallway between all the other theaters and the lobby. There were lots of signs and posters about the movies coming out soon. We walked all around and talked about all the pictures and the colors and the shapes on the posters. I tried (and failed) to get us back into our theater to see the rest of the movie several times. She really wanted to get back in there, but only because that's where the stairs were!

Are there any theaters anymore without stadium seating?

I bought her some candy from one of the little vending machines. Bribery is always an option for us! She wasnt' really liking the candy as much as I'd hoped. I lifted her up and let her drop her candy into the trash can. She then proceded to fall on the floor and roll across the lobby rug. As people, young and old, walked past us I couldn't help but think she looked like an ad for birth control. I tried to get her off the floor. She eventually conceded, but only because she had decided her shoes really belonged in the garbage can. She got one in before I was able to stop her.

I'm not sure if they were laughing at the baby or me as they walked past. The 'moms with experience' were probably smiling because they had been there once too.

I'd just like to think that the young couples who witnessed this episode made their next stop a drug store for a new pack of condoms.

Nobody's Perfect

The girls and thier cousin.

He's just a head, but we love him anyway!