August 23, 2007

It's A Conspiracy...

I think I finally have it all figured out.

That’s right. I know why being a parent is so exhausting. It’s not the lack of sleep. My children don’t make it a habit of waking me in the night. (And, NO…it’s not because I’m not the nicest person when awoken from my slumber. I don’t think that’s why, anyway!) It’s because they waste energy.

Think about it: How many rational people just run in circles and scream for no reason? I know my children do. And watching them alone is completely exhausting. I used to think that just watching them was what made me feel tired. Seeing all that energy being used for THAT when it could be washing my car or something. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. Have you seen the ‘Baby Be of Use’ series? Seriously, I believe that woman may be onto something!

It occurred to me today (While my girls were running in circles and squealing their heads off for no apparent reason. Again.) That they may have figured out a way to harness our energy and use it for their own wasteful reasons. They are using my energy. They have tapped into my energy and made it their own. And they are giving me nothing in return.

I’ve always jokingly called my children ‘parasites’ from the time I became pregnant with my first. They latch onto a blood source and give nothing back. Okay. I take that back. They give you a lot, really. Personally, being a mother has given me more varicose veins than I can ever really thank them for, a much larger backside, and vivid memories of morning sickness, sore boobs and being completely exhausted. Not to mention the hormonal shifts made me especially vulnerable to phone solicitors that convinced me I could cure some horrible childhood illness with my measely little donation. I’m still paying for that one. (’Do No Call List’ my @$$!!!)

And have I mentioned that my left foot still swells every single day? More than most pregnant people I know, I might add! Ever since the first pregnancy my large ankles and foot have been my constant companion. And the list (along with my thighs) just keeps growing!

So, these clever little boogers have figured out how to harness my energy and make me tired. At least, that’s what I have to throw back at them when they get old enough to blame me for ruining their lives. That’s not actually what I’m shooting for in this whole ‘parenting gig’ but you have to be prepared, right?


Lynne said...

OMG Leann! I agree with you 100%! My daughter was gone for 4 days and I had so much energy, I was even staying up late at night just watching old movies or reading. She came back and almost immediately I could barely keep my eyes open past 9 at night!

Leann I Am said...

I'm telling you...they suck it all up!!!

Jacki / One Tired Momma! said...

Isn't it a scientific fact that BOYS actually suck up the most energy "around" you and "out" of you? I know I heard a fact somewhere that from conception, boys take & use more energy than girls. Now.. I can say that cause I have 2 boys and I didn't name myself "one tired momma" for nothing!! I'm just joshing Leann, although I know exactly what your talking about, these darn kiddo's anyways! Where do they get all this energy and how can we harness it? 4 year old is now into making very loud "race car engine reving" sounds. He sounds possessed! And when I ask him to stop of course I get the 4 year old logic "I'm not being loud Momma, I'm making race car sounds and race cars are loud". :-)

By the way, love your blogspot, but you can't leave 360!! :-)

Kari said...

Oh, that's it! HA! Why didn't I think of that sooner? Darn!

I'm a Mom!..? said...

I really don't get the amusement in twirling yourself in circles and flinging yourself on the floor, they love it, it tires me out..