It's sad, but David and I haven't had much 'us time' in the recent months. There has just been so much going on that it's been so easy for that kind of stuff to get lost in the shuffle.
It doesn't even always hit us until we go somewhere and see a couple that may very well be us in twenty or thirty years. You know, we've all seen those couples that are out somewhere for dinner or coffee and don't seem to have anything to say to one another. It's always a nice reminder that we don't want to be that couple when the kids are grown.
Kids just suck up so much of your life, your identity. It's so easy to be 'Mom' and 'Dad' and leave no room to be anything else. Besides, David works pretty long hours and I spend my days dealing with 11YO, 4YO and the little one I've dubbed 'Demon Spawn.' And for good reason.
We're just so busy taking care of the immediate needs of the family that we don't have time (or energy) for us. I'm not too worried about it because I have heard (and read) this story a thousand times from other parents in similar situations. This is a tough time in anyone's life and I have no doubt we'll get through it. Those couples that we see do tend to be vivid reminders of what could very well be us. If we spend too much time and energy on the kids, will we still know how to be a couple after they grow up? What will we say to each other in a restaurant when we don't have to cut someone else's meat or bargain with them to "pleeeeease just finish a few more bites?"
Yesterday, BIL came over with his 8YO daughter for the weekend. They come just about every other weekend and the kids have a blast. He was nice enough to stay with the girls while David and I had a 'date night.'
We went out to dinner and had a great time. We decided we might even be up for a movie went to the nearest theater next. Most of the movies we were interested in had just started and the next showing wasn't for another hour and a half or so. We can't stay out that late! So, we opted to go to Target and see if there are any movies we would want to buy instead. Besides, that would be even cheaper than the $10.00 per person they charge just to get into the movies! How do people actually pay that when they go to the movies more than a few times a year???
We didn't see any movies that we wanted, but we did pick up a few things we needed for the house. Romantic, I know!
We weren't up for a movie that late, but we didn't want to go home just yet either. So, we went to Starbucks. Starbucks on a Saturday night is perfect for a couple of people-watchin' smack-talkin' folks like us! We found a couple of comfy chairs in the back corner (with an ottoman--SCORE!!!) and the jokes just started coming.
First of all, there was a guy in the middle of Starbucks with a laptop and several piles of paperwork covering the table. He looked as if he were studying, but the only thing he seemed to be studying were all the women walking by. There was an older gentleman in the corner with a pretty snazzy laptop on his lap. He never looked up and was obviously just there for the Wi-Fi. David noted that someone who can afford such a nice laptop should be able to afford his own internet service at home. (I know, so old-fashoined. Isn't he CUTE?)
Then, the kids came in. They were sitting right next to us and from the way their conversation went they must have been around 15 or 16. There were only three or four of them at first but they quickly multiplied into a party of ten or more. They spoke of biology class and who aced it last year. These were the smart kids. Not just smart...but from pretty 'comfortable' families too. They pretty much all had iphones! David quickly ran the numbers in his head to figure out how much money in cell phones alone was crowded around that little table.
David then needed to use the restroom. I lounged in the comfy chair while he went in. The bathroom at this Starbucks was also in the back so I could see who was coming and going. (PUNNY!) A man entered the restroom shortly after David. He came back out almost instantly. David exited shortly after that and came back over. After a few more minutes of chatting, he said, "We need to look for the guy wearing the tan Airwalks."
"Because he didn't wash his hands."
"Eeeww! I was wondering why he came back out so quickly! I thought maybe he just washed his hands or something!"
"Nope. And he didn't even flush the urinal, either!"
It was then that our evening took a new turn: To find the man whose hand we would not shake! We never did find him, but we definitely found 'David and Leann' at that Starbucks last night. And that's all that we were really looking for anyway.