I have been, up until today, completely unaware that such a thing even existed. I was completely oblivious to the fact that regular old mayo wasn't heavy enough for some people.
"Hey, sweetie. I see you're buying some mayo. Let's get the 'extra heavy' stuff instead. My @$$ just isn't large enough."
Do these people actually exist? To top it off, it only comes in a gallon size at Sam's Club! A full gallon of extra heavy mayonnaise....now all of my dreams have come true!
My @$$ is growing just looking at the picture! We don't even buy the regular stuff because I calculated the Weight Watcher's Points and a serving of the regular stuff is three points and the same amount of the light stuff is 1. Mayonnaise is something I'm willing to sacrifice for the sake of my thighs.
Perhaps the 'mayonnaise gods' were unhappy with my jokes, because a card table flew out the back of my parents' van when I opened the hatch and landed on the tops of my feet. They are now swollen and purple.
And I thought I had high insteps before....