July 5, 2007

What's wrong with this picture?

I just thought I might share with you my theories on the evils of 'Winnie the Pooh and Friends.'
First off, you have the 'Pooh Bear' himself. He's an overeater. Most shows center around his need for honey...much like a crack addict might be about his next 'score!'` He's so addicted to honey he has lost all ambition for anything else. A few years from now, he'll be on of those guys on 'Dr. Phil' that has to get a wall torn out of his house so that the crane can get to him.
Pooh has a friend, 'Tigger.' Tigger is a severe ADHD case. If anyone ever needed medication, it's Tigger. Somebody needs to give that kitty a cup of black coffee and some Ritalin.
Then, there's 'Rabbit.' Rabbit is your typical OCD case. That little garden of his will never be good enough and there have been whole shows surrounding that very topic.
And don't we all just love 'Eeyore!' Eeyore suffers from severe depression. Sooooooometimes he cannnnn't even geeeeeeeet out of beeeeeeed. Of course, who would want to with all those misfits he hangs out with?
Then, we have the ever tweaky Piglet. Piglet suffers from low self-esteem with bouts of paranoia. Remember that episode where he was afraid of his own shadow? Wait. That's every episode. I think Piglet should share his coffee with Eeyore and and Tigger!
To top it off, we have poor Christopher Robin. Doesn't that kid have any actual real friends instead of all the made-up misfits? And where are this kid's parents? Don't they know that we don't live in the kind of world where you can just let your kids wander freely in the woods? That's what gets kids landing on milk cartons. Or worse, they nibble on the wrong mushrooms and have this whole different fantasy life and dream up a whole group of twisted creatures to be friends with. Somebody needs to get that kid in a playgroup!
And that's why I don't allow my kids to do the 'Pooh thing.'
We don't do 'Barney' either. He's the devil. But then, that's a blog for another day.....


Rebecca said...

LMBO!!!!!!!!!! That is so funny!!!

Welcome to the ring!

Anonymous said...

Wow. Just. Wow. I think there are elements of all those characteristics in most children's stories.